A Little Process for Growth

Growth is change and change causes discomfort but staying stagnant may cause even more pain even though it may feel like comfortable pain. It is a place we know, so we feel okay staying there even though it can be so incredibly painful. Finding ways to respond and work through the discomfort is imperative to growing and changing in ways we want to change or grow. I have noticed a pattern emerge when I’m working through new challenges or the discomfort of change and growth. It is a little process for growth consisting of Curiosity, Courage, and Compassion.

The Process of Growth

If I’ve realized anything, it is that I am brave. And you can be too.
– Rachelle Niemann

I realize that I go silent here, sometimes for long stretches of time and I wanted to try and explain why that happens. I am a work in progress; I always will be. I am still learning and growing and honestly, I hope that continues forever. But sometimes during especially intense times of growth and discomfort, it’s all I can do is focus on the growth and lessons.

The truth is, for the past 3 years I’ve been in the midst of Act 2. Brene Brown discusses this as starting with an inciting incident. For me, this was the idea of becoming a parent and passing down my pain, fear, and shame to children and not being able to fully show up for them.

Spring has arrived; I’m here and I’m ready to create something real, something meaningful. If I can push through the darkness anyone can, and I’m here to support in any way I can.

Re-framing Negative Emotions

In order to allow ourselves to feel all of our emotions, we need to rethink how we perceive them. Emotions are not good or bad, or positive or negative; they are just emotions. We feel emotions; we are not emotions, and we have a better ability to feel and manage our emotions when we reframe how we see them.

Decreasing Judgement & Growing Self-Compassion

To have compassion for others, we must first have compassion for ourselves and continue to notice when we are judging ourselves in elusive and hidden ways. Practicing self-compassion helps us discover and overcome our self-defeating criticism and judgement and spur desired growth.

The Many Veils of Fear

When fear feels threatened, it gets creative hiding in new emotions. I spent the last few weeks confused by various emotions, but I finally realized through reflection, meditation, and journaling that fear was the root of them all. Now I must shine light on it, so I can move forward.